Dizzy Miss Lizzy

Everything and Nothing

Christmas comes more frequently now

When I was a kid my grandma used to say that time speeded up when you got older. I didn’t really understand what she meant. I pondered: could it be that every year was a shorter proportion of your life, that older people were busier, that older people were less efficient or something to do with relativity that Einstein had missed. I still don’t understand it but it seems she was right.

It is Christmas in less than a week but surely it cannot be a year since last Christmas. I haven’t finished putting the decorations away and the Christmas tree is still waiting to be returned to the attic. Last year’s timetable for preparing the Christmas diner is still pinned up in the kitchen. Needless to say I haven’t even planned Christmas shopping never mind done any.

Dog on Settee

Dog on Settee

I’ll get “that look” from the man in the post office when I go in for stamps for my cards. He’ll say: “They’ll have to go first class if you want them to get there on time. Last posting day for 2nd class was last week” – but I’ve had similar every year since 1980. Actually in the early 80’s I deliberately left posting my cards until after the very last posting date (can’t remember whether there was a 1st and 2nd class then) and they always arrived on time. I assume it was because the rush had died down.

I don’t think I’m disorganised.┬áChristmas pounces out at me while I’m busy doing other things and I live with Scrooge who has no interest in reminding me about it. I don’t watch the T.V. much (only foreign programs on BBC4) so I don’t often see the Christmas themed advertisements unless they are whizzing past at 4x normal speed, but when I do they are for things I am not interested in: children’s toys, cosmetics or to remind me I have only 24 hours left to get the best deal ever on settees and sofas delivered in time for Christmas. I must confess that I’m always tempted by the sofa advertisements but I resist. I don’t need one. The dog is quite happy with the one I have and anyway I spend all my time on a chair at my computer (or in the car or at work).

On the side subject of advertisements: I blank out the food advertisements because they try to tempt me with gluten laden party food at bargain prices but they may as well have a finger pointing at me and ┬ásay “except you”. Having to make/buy and take your own food to a club or friend’s party isn’t conducive to a feeling of inclusion and there are no bargain prices for gluten free.

Measured in today’s time Christmases were decades apart when I was a kid. Does that mean my mum would have had longer to prepare than I do, or have I now found out why every year we were hastily putting up the Christmas tree and wrapping Christmas presents on the afternoon of Christmas Eve. For years I thought that was because it was traditional. Now I know it was because she was in a different time dimension from me.

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